Live Up to Your Privilege

Last Saturday I had the special opportunity to attend a special Relief Society Conference that my singles stake put on entitled "Live Up to Your Privilege." To be honest I wasn't so sure if I really wanted to attend, it was "early" Saturday morning and was 3 hours long plus lunch at the end, I'm grateful that I did end up deciding to attend though, I was spiritually uplifted and it was a great morning spent with Kayla as well. Sorry if my thoughts will seem scattered, these are just bits and pieces that I wrote down/remember/stood out to me. 

We all gathered in the Chapel first to hear a couple testimonies, special musicals, to watch a slideshow, and to hear from our Stake President (I love our my Stake Presidency, they are so wonderful and I constantly feel their love for us!). After the time in the Chapel we had the opportunity to choose 2 of 5 workshops (so not fair having to choose!).

The first workshop that I attended was called "Communication and Relationship Building." The number one thing that they sister teaching the class seemed to keep repeating was Being Engaged with and where you are (ENGAGED-Participate, Establish a meaningful relationship).

She spent a lot of time discussing the 5 Languages of Love (if you haven't heard of them you can go HERE to read more about it or to take a test to discover what kind of Love Language you need). I've heard about the 5 Languages in several of my classes but have never really thought a ton about them or what I might be. She recommended that we take the test every 6-12 months ourselves because our love languages do change. One suggestion that she made that her sister does for her kids I loved. She said that most people/kids generally act out when they are not feeling loved so her sister will have her kids take the test to discover what kind of love language they need and work to fill that kind of love for them. 

She also showed this clip, I loved the idea and loved the different comments they make, especially the old couple. 

The second class was called "Trust in the Lord, His Timing, His Way, His Will" 

She started by reading this quote from Richard G. Scott, "We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day." There was more to the quote but this is the part that she had highlighted and repeated several times through the whole workshop and it continues to stand out to me. 

She had run out of time but told us to go home and watch this song, Lemonade by Alex Boye (she said it was a good song but she also remarked on his crazy pants :D), somehow I had never heard this song before but  I really liked it. After that she was talking about are we more concerned with what is not happening than what is happening which fit it with what the song was about. 

After I had listened to the song I also read the notes that Alex Boye had put under the movie and felt that it really did go well with what she was talking about...

This song is inspired by one of my favorite quotes:

"Cease your complaining and fretting.The cause is in yourself, and where the cause is, there is the remedy...Alter your outlook on life, and your outward life will alter."

-James Allen

I've always wanted to write my own Bobby Mcferrin, "Don't worry, be Happy" song. CHECK!! There is a part in the song that says "So many miracles are happening each day, if I can just get out of my own way.

That's a reminder for ME.

A few years ago, even though I had so many amazing things happening in my life, I was so caught up in things that were NOT going right, that I stopped appreciating the things that WERE going right. I would start making a habit of chasing the storms and not the sunlight, and started getting used to feeling sorry for myself. whenever bad stuff would happen to me, i would say things like "Yep, of course that would happen to ME and nobody else!!

I would always be waiting for something amazing to happen to me before I felt good about myself. "If I get that raise, THEN life would be amazing, or if I found the right spouse, or if I get that record deal, or if I win that contest, or got the new car, THEN things would be amazing. I was living in the future and NOT enjoying the PRESENT.

Things started to change for me when I came across a book called "The Magic of believing".

I started to change my way of thinking and realized that we don't have to wait for something amazing to happen. WE ALREADY ARE AMAZING!! I would say that to myself often and then i would start seeing amazing things happen in my life. so glad I found that little truth in my life. It has made ALL the difference.

Im learning now that when bad things happen out of our control, it can either leave us either bitter, or better for going through it. I once heard someone say, "Life can truly be bittersweet. But whatever you bring attention to, expands, so choose wisely."

This is a song about making the most and the best of life, whatever is thrown our way. Thanks for reading this far!!

Best,

Alex Boye'

LEMONADE LYRICS:

I'm just so broke you won't believe 

Can't get a dollar out of me 

And as far as I can see 

I'm losing control like a bad disease 

No I just can't get relief 

I've been shot down by the life police, 

And everyday I try to rise 

But I can't succeed 

Can anybody find a cure for me? 

You can be bitter, bitter, bitter 

Or you can be better, better, better 

CHORUS 

When life gives you lemons 

Instead of champagne 

Don't worry little children 

And don't complain (woh) 

Remember you're golden 

So find some sugar cane 

When life gives you lemons 

Make lemonade 

Hama kama hama kama heyama kama x2 

Now everyday is like a brand new year, 

I throw my hands up in the air 

Like I just don't care, 

I'm moon walking down the streets 

Feeling like oh yeah (oh yeah!) 

like the bottom of the glass now I see clear 

So now I laugh just a little more (Yeeheheee!) 

I stand much taller than I did before (Yahahaa!) 

I know I'm not where I need to be 

But I thank God that I'm not 

where I used to be, 

I used to be bitter, bitter bitter 

And now I feel better, better, better 

CHORUS 

When life gives you lemons 

Instead of champagne 

Don't worry little children 

And don't complain (woh) 

Remember you're golden 

So find some sugar cane 

When life gives you lemons 

Make lemonade 

BRIDGE 

Hama kama hama 

I was saved for a reason 

That I can't explain 

Got something new to believe in 

I'm awakened again (who woh) 

So many miracles are 

Happening each day 

If I can just get out of (Elelele) 

My own way 

CHORUS 

Le-le-le-le-Lemonade 

Lemony-lemony-le-lemonade 

Lemo-lemo, Woo! 

A big purpose of this class was using our patriarchal blessings. "Your Patriarchal Blessing is a window into who you are and who you can become."

She told of having talked to a friend of hers who has been a patriarch for many years and she asked him what he tells people that are receiving their blessings. He told of a suggestion that he always gives and I thought that it was a very unique and good idea. He tells them at the beginning to make several copies of their blessings,

• On the first copy mark the blessings and talents that are mentioned.
• On the second copy mark what opportunities that you will have in your life.
• On the third copy mark what blessings you will receive. 
• On the fourth copy mark what counsel and teachings your blessing gives you. (you can also mark the warnings that are given or do that as a separate copy). 
• On the fifth copy mark what insights are given concerning your life mission. 

He said then when you are having a bad day go look at the blessings and talents copy. Struggling with a calling, look at the counsel, etc. They always say that every time you read your blessing it seems like you discover or notice something different, I think that looking at the blessing with different parts highlighted will also help.

Sunday in Relief Society it was really nice, they had asked one person that had attended to spend 5 or so sharing some of their thoughts/notes, so even though we weren't able to attend all of the classes we were able to hear some about them. Here are my bullet point notes from them: 

• Don't worry yourself over which you have no control.
• Practice daily receiving personal revelation so we know how the Lord speaks with you. You need to have a desire to know and receive revelation. 
• True Beauty
• We shine when we have the spirit with us. 
• Deep beauty is Happiness, Bathing in the Spirit.
• Circumstances can only determine so much-it's our attitude, choices, reaction, etc.
• Emotions take time, they take work and A LOT of talking. 
• Be a good listener.
• You have to take care of yourself before you can help others. 
• If you are helping someone, you need to have someone that you can talk to. 
• Our patriarchal blessing is like a recipe, we have the choice to disregard it completely, follow almost completely, or follow it 100% and live up to the full potential of the recipe. 
• We have a vision of what we want to become through our actions and living each day that we can accomplish that vision. 

Flat Flat

In August I got a flat tire, "lucky" for me it was the day of Jacob's birthday party and Ben and Erick were both there to help me learn how to change my tire and put my spare on (even more "lucky" for me we noticed the flat when my car was parked in my drive-way at my house). As much as I would have preferred to just have them change it for me it was nice to learn and know that if I ever need to I CAN do it (again not that I wouldn't prefer someone else to do it ;D). 

I didn't believe Ben when he came inside and told me that I had a flat tire. 

My reaction when I saw the proof :(

I'm so grateful that I have great brothers (near and farther away) that are willing and ready to help me.

Putting those great muscles to work that I've been getting from the gym ;)

The great offender....grrr!

Glad that my mom could document the whole thing for me and that I could provide entertainment for my family (at one point I look up and saw that my sister-in-law had gotten camping chairs out of their car and were sitting in a row watching me). 

Day 17

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Many of my friends that are doing this have a new child that had an impact on their lives, I too have children (close to 90 in fact) that have an impact on my life. When I first signed up to go to Taiwan I did not expect what a huge influence it would have on me, I gained a stronger love for children and an even stronger desire to teach them. I love these kids and their families so much, they were all so kind and loving...I miss Taiwan, the food, the culture, and it's people everyday and I'm so grateful that I had that learning experience and opportunity to go there.

Day 6

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

If I were to trade places with someone for a day I think that I would choose a child...sometimes I think that it would be wonderful to be able to go back and be a child, before you had the worries and pressures of life on your shoulders. To have have the faith of a child, forgiving easily and loving unconditionally. We are often told in Church that we should be like a child, I wish that I were better at that---there is so much that we can learn from children and their innocence.

Parent Meeting

Last Saturday we had our parent/teacher meeting, Andrea and I were both really nervousabout it and weren't really sure what to expect from it. We knew that there had been some concerns of the parents and that we wanted to help relieve them as much as we could but weren't quite sure how Yuling wanted us to do that. I slept very little Friday night and Andrea said that she hardly slept herself. We woke up Saturday and prepared as much as we could and the before going downstairs we said a prayer together that everything would go smoothly and that we would feel calm and at peace.

Yuling began by talking for awhile and then turned it over to us to talk a little bit about howchildren learn the best and what kind of learning they do... we shared this information,which I find really interesting (sorry it's a lot of reading):

Language Acquisition vs. Language Learning (Judie Haynes)

There is an important distinction made by linguists between language acquisition and language learning. Children acquire language through a subconscious process during which they are unaware of grammatical rules. This is similar to the way they acquire their first language. They get a feel for what is and what isn’t correct. In order to acquire language, the learner needs a source of natural communication. The emphasis is on the text of the communication and not on the form. Young students who are in the process of acquiring English get plenty of “on the job” practice. They readily acquire the language to communicate with classmates.

Language learning, on the other hand, is not communicative. It is the result of direct instruction in the rules of language. And it certainly is not an age-appropriate activity for your young learners. In language learning, students have conscious knowledge of the new language and can talk about that knowledge. They can fill in the blanks on a grammar page. Research has shown, however, that knowing grammar rules does not necessarily result in good speaking or writing. A student who has memorized the rules of the language may be able to succeed on a standardized test of English language but may not be able to speak or write correctly.

Basic Interpersonal Communication Skills

–Language skills needed in social situations.

–When they are on the playground, in the lunch room, on the school bus, at parties, playing sports and talking on the telephone.

–Social interactions are usually context embedded.

–They occur in a meaningful social context.

–They are not very demanding cognitively.

Cognitive Academic Language Proficiency

–formal academic learning.

–This includes listening, speaking, reading, and writing about subject area content material.

–This level of language learning is essential for students to succeed in school.

–Students need time and support to become proficient in academic areas.

Andrea was awesome and took over the talking about the way people learned, and Rosy's mom (who is also a teacher and speaks English really well) was really nice and helped translate for Andrea.

After we talked about how children learned we were each supposed to have a 5-minute mini lesson to share with the parents what their children's daily classes our like. I chose a simple concept: small, medium, and large to teach about. I brought several examples-balls, squares, etc. to have them practice identifying small, medium, and large. When I first stood up I was still really nervous and so decided that I was just going to ignore the parents and talk to the kids (they were nice enough to let them come in during the lesson part). I asked the first question and Yuling told me to stop and then told the parents that they needed to be answering too.

So I tried again and started over, some of the parents started answer but only when they were prodded. Yuling told me that I needed to get the parents more involved so I brought out a small white board and drew 3 triangles of different sizes and showed first that we put an "s" for small, "m" for medium, and "l" for large. Then I drew another set and asked different kids to take it to their parents and have them write the correct letter under the shape. It was funny because all the kids were raising their hands (which they do normally in class) because they all wanted their parents to have a turn. Rosy's mom (the one that translated and knows English) told Rosy to put her hand down because she didn't want to go. It turned out to be fun and it really allowed the parents to see what a class is normally like. So my 5-minute lesson turned into over 15, but it was really good and I need not have been nervous or worried. After my lesson each of the Chinese teachers talked for a little bit and then we got to show the parents the new program that I am in charge of, it's called KMI and it's different activities that work the kids minds. They are really fun and I had several parents afterwards tell me that they really liked it.

Though we weren't excited about the meeting we have heard from several people that it was a good thing that we did, many parents concerns were laid to rest and answered and they were better able to see how their kids learn and that the style of learning is also changing from when they were kids.

Teaching Moments

For one of my classes I am reading this book called "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom. This book is about a family and there has been several times when the father has had an opportunity to teach his daughter something, I know that this is just a book, but it is based on real events in the author's life and I am still impressed with how well the father is able to understand and to teach his daughter.

The first moment is when the daughter was ten or eleven, she had read a poem in school where is said something about sexsin, she was curious about what it meant and had first asked her mother, her mother had turned scarlet red and had not responded. So next Corrie (the daughter) asked her father, I think that it will work better if I just type it out rather than paraphrase it.
"So the line had stuck in my head. "Sex," I was pretty sure meant whether you were a boy or a girl, and "sin" made Tante Jans very angry, but what the together meant I could not imagine. And so, seated next to Father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is sexsin?"
He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor.
"Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he said.
I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.
"It's too heavy," I said.
"Yes," he said. "And it would be a pretty poor father whoe would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.
And I as satisfied. More than satisfied--wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions--for now, I was content to leave them in my father's keeping."

The next moment when he had a chance to teach his daughter was when Corrie, her sister, and her mother had gone to a home where a baby had died, her mother was taking a basket of food to the young mother who had lost her baby. While Corrie's mother went to the young mother Corrie and her sister touched the baby that was sitting in the crib. She came home and later as she was getting ready for bed, her father came to tuck her into bed.
"It was strange that a society that hid the facts of sex from children made no effort to shield them from death. I stood staring at the tiny unmoving form with my heart thudding strangely against my ribs. Nollie (her sister), always braver than I, stretched out her hand and touched the ivory-white cheek, I lonved to do it too, but hung back, afraid. For a while, curiosity and terror struggled in me. At last I put one finger on the small curled hand.
It was cold.
Cold as we walked back to the Beje, cold as I washed for supper, cold even in the snug gas-lit dining room. Between me and each familiar face around the table crept those small icy fingers. For all Tante Jans's talk about it, death had been only a word. Now I knew that it could really happen--if to the baby, then to Mama, to Father, to Betsie!
Still shivering with that cold, I followed Nollie up to our room and crept into bed beside her. At last we heard Father's footsteps winding up the stairs. It was the best moment in every day, when he came up to tuck us in. We never fell asleep until he had arranged the blankets in his special way and laid his hand for a moment on each head. Then we tried not to move even a toe.
But that night as he stepped through the door I burst into tears. "I need you!" I sobbed. "You can't die! You can't!"
Beside me on the bed, Nollie sat up. "We went to see Mrs. Hoog," she explained. "Corrie didn't even eat her supper or anything."
Father sat down on the edge of the narrow bed. "Corrie," he began gently, "when you and I go to Amsterdam--when do I give you your ticket?"
I sniffed a few times, considering this.
"Why, just before we get on the train."
"Exactly. And our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things, too. Don't run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need--just in time."