2 Year Reflection

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of my Dad's death. So much has happened in that time...I went to Taiwan for the 2nd time; the birth of two nieces (granddaughters); Ben started a new job; Nathan started a new job; Kyle, Nathan, Sallee, Claire all moved to California; we sold the house in Oregon; Mom moved to Utah; Joel completed his doctorate; Joel, Becky, Aubrey moved to Boston; Joel started a new job at Harvard; Erick started a new job; plus many, many more.

Many of those things have been exciting, scary, fun, hard, sad, etc. changes. Some we have looked forward to and others we have dragged our feet all the way.

These last two years have been great, full of fun and new adventures and at the same time they have been two of the hardest years that I have ever lived through.

We got family pictures taken at Christmas and my Mom and I were talking the other day about my wanting to get some printed to put in my frames for my wall, but my Mom pointed out that I didn't want to replace all of the pictures because than I wouldn't have any with my Dad in them.

Sometimes it's hard to think about that in all of the future family pictures he won't be in them, he won't be part of the family vacations, when I find my future spouse he won't be there to give him a hard time or to be part of my wedding day, and when more grandchildren come he won't get to meet them. But then I think about the grand picture, he is part of all these events, I may not be able to see him but I know that he is watching.

I miss my Dad and I don't think there will ever be a time that I don't miss him, but I am grateful for him, the things that he has taught me (and continues to teach me) and that I know that I will be with him again. I'm grateful that I have the pictures to remind me of the memories but even more grateful that I have the memories.

I know this may sound a little dorky or cheesy (yes it is Miley Cyrus), but I love this song, every time I hear it I think of my Dad. I think that it describes him so well (besides the part about having to do it on his own)...he was always there for me, ready to help, love, teach, share, serve, anything that was needed.

Day 30

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

It's sometimes hard to accept that death is part of this life, that we eventually have to be prepared to let loved ones go. I don't think that the missing them ever goes away but with the knowledge of the gospel also comes a peace, a comfort that though they are gone for now it is not forever.

Day 14

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

???????????

This one is a little hard for me...I don't currently have the "love of my life/eternal companion to conveniently put in this place (conveniently seems maybe a little harsh but I think that if I did have a "love of my life" he would go into this spot without thought). Next on the list would obviously come my family and friends...I think that having these people makes my life more full than it is, happier even, but I also don't think that my life would end if these people were to die (case in point my Dad). My life becomes a little sadder and I miss them like crazy but I think that if they left I could still continue living (how depressing is this?)

In Memory of Suzy

Here Lies Suzy Snow
Loving Friend
December 21, 2010, 5:15pm-December 21,2010, 7:00pm
Suzy was a good Snow-Woman...for the hour and a half that she lasted.





We will miss Suzy and the wonderful memories that we shared. We are glad that we were able to know her for the short time that we did. We know that she has melted/fallen onto a better place and that we will probably never see her again.
I remember her rosy stomach as the ketchup melted off of her cheeks and fell down and the way that her nose bent just right, she stood tall and proud and wasn't afraid to smile.
Farewell to you Suzy!

Teaching Moments

For one of my classes I am reading this book called "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom. This book is about a family and there has been several times when the father has had an opportunity to teach his daughter something, I know that this is just a book, but it is based on real events in the author's life and I am still impressed with how well the father is able to understand and to teach his daughter.

The first moment is when the daughter was ten or eleven, she had read a poem in school where is said something about sexsin, she was curious about what it meant and had first asked her mother, her mother had turned scarlet red and had not responded. So next Corrie (the daughter) asked her father, I think that it will work better if I just type it out rather than paraphrase it.
"So the line had stuck in my head. "Sex," I was pretty sure meant whether you were a boy or a girl, and "sin" made Tante Jans very angry, but what the together meant I could not imagine. And so, seated next to Father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is sexsin?"
He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor.
"Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he said.
I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.
"It's too heavy," I said.
"Yes," he said. "And it would be a pretty poor father whoe would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.
And I as satisfied. More than satisfied--wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions--for now, I was content to leave them in my father's keeping."

The next moment when he had a chance to teach his daughter was when Corrie, her sister, and her mother had gone to a home where a baby had died, her mother was taking a basket of food to the young mother who had lost her baby. While Corrie's mother went to the young mother Corrie and her sister touched the baby that was sitting in the crib. She came home and later as she was getting ready for bed, her father came to tuck her into bed.
"It was strange that a society that hid the facts of sex from children made no effort to shield them from death. I stood staring at the tiny unmoving form with my heart thudding strangely against my ribs. Nollie (her sister), always braver than I, stretched out her hand and touched the ivory-white cheek, I lonved to do it too, but hung back, afraid. For a while, curiosity and terror struggled in me. At last I put one finger on the small curled hand.
It was cold.
Cold as we walked back to the Beje, cold as I washed for supper, cold even in the snug gas-lit dining room. Between me and each familiar face around the table crept those small icy fingers. For all Tante Jans's talk about it, death had been only a word. Now I knew that it could really happen--if to the baby, then to Mama, to Father, to Betsie!
Still shivering with that cold, I followed Nollie up to our room and crept into bed beside her. At last we heard Father's footsteps winding up the stairs. It was the best moment in every day, when he came up to tuck us in. We never fell asleep until he had arranged the blankets in his special way and laid his hand for a moment on each head. Then we tried not to move even a toe.
But that night as he stepped through the door I burst into tears. "I need you!" I sobbed. "You can't die! You can't!"
Beside me on the bed, Nollie sat up. "We went to see Mrs. Hoog," she explained. "Corrie didn't even eat her supper or anything."
Father sat down on the edge of the narrow bed. "Corrie," he began gently, "when you and I go to Amsterdam--when do I give you your ticket?"
I sniffed a few times, considering this.
"Why, just before we get on the train."
"Exactly. And our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things, too. Don't run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need--just in time."