2 Year Reflection

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of my Dad's death. So much has happened in that time...I went to Taiwan for the 2nd time; the birth of two nieces (granddaughters); Ben started a new job; Nathan started a new job; Kyle, Nathan, Sallee, Claire all moved to California; we sold the house in Oregon; Mom moved to Utah; Joel completed his doctorate; Joel, Becky, Aubrey moved to Boston; Joel started a new job at Harvard; Erick started a new job; plus many, many more.

Many of those things have been exciting, scary, fun, hard, sad, etc. changes. Some we have looked forward to and others we have dragged our feet all the way.

These last two years have been great, full of fun and new adventures and at the same time they have been two of the hardest years that I have ever lived through.

We got family pictures taken at Christmas and my Mom and I were talking the other day about my wanting to get some printed to put in my frames for my wall, but my Mom pointed out that I didn't want to replace all of the pictures because than I wouldn't have any with my Dad in them.

Sometimes it's hard to think about that in all of the future family pictures he won't be in them, he won't be part of the family vacations, when I find my future spouse he won't be there to give him a hard time or to be part of my wedding day, and when more grandchildren come he won't get to meet them. But then I think about the grand picture, he is part of all these events, I may not be able to see him but I know that he is watching.

I miss my Dad and I don't think there will ever be a time that I don't miss him, but I am grateful for him, the things that he has taught me (and continues to teach me) and that I know that I will be with him again. I'm grateful that I have the pictures to remind me of the memories but even more grateful that I have the memories.

I know this may sound a little dorky or cheesy (yes it is Miley Cyrus), but I love this song, every time I hear it I think of my Dad. I think that it describes him so well (besides the part about having to do it on his own)...he was always there for me, ready to help, love, teach, share, serve, anything that was needed.

PhotoHunt: Black

This might seem like a different picture to some to post under the category. This picture was taken at the luncheon after my Dad's burial, a time when most people would all be wearing black, crying and not a smile to be found. Instead in LDS cultural a funeral is filled with smiles, laughter, colors and celebration of the person that lived; yes there are tears, we do miss the person. But it's more than that, though me miss the person greatly we know that we will be together with them again and would rather appreciate the things that we loved about that person.

So I have chosen this picture, because we push out the black and pulling the color with happy thoughts.

Calendar

This morning at the beginning of my 5 year old class I was doing calendar, we were talking about how it was a new month "December," when I was just about to go on Ariel spoke up. She said "Teacher, in December you go to Taipei and you don't come back" in a real sad voice. I have kind of realized that it was coming soon but I guess having one of my kids voice it made it more of a reality. I think that just like when I came here it won't really it me until I am actually gone. People have asked me if I am ready to go home, I think that on one hand I am ready to come home- just because I am ready to see family and friends but on the other hand I am really going to miss my kids.
Wendy was gone last week for two days and I was just so happy to see her this morning when I walked into class, I know that it is going to be worse when I leave here. I begin to wonder, how do these kids do it every 6 months? I mean they have two new teachers come every 6 months that they get close to and really like and then they just leave and don't come back, I don't know if I would really like that.
I guess that I just wanted to say "Darn you" to the calendar as it tore my heart to see the faces of those kids as they too realized this morning that I will be leaving soon.